


Fridays

by Firstwivesclub



Category: Ghostbusters (Comics), Ghostbusters (Movies 1984-1989), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 09:28:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20946098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firstwivesclub/pseuds/Firstwivesclub
Summary: But this ill-advised fantasy doesn't make her heart hurt any less, because it all comes down to one thing; she loves him.And she doesn't know how to stop.





	Fridays

Focusing her eyes on the clock across the garage, she watches as the minute hand moves. Each tick of the jerking metal echos louder than the last as she waits for the numbers to change. Their progress is slow, as the seconds come together, working tirelessly to reach their numerical goal. Watching as they advance, she tries to focus on their steady rhythm, but the cheap metronome does nothing to ease her restless mind. Because ultimately the hole surrounding the fire pole does little to conceal his operations. 

She can hear him upstairs and his movements are distracting. Clashes of metal and creaks in the floorboards reveal his position above her with pinpoint precision. She's spent enough time around all of them to know how they operate and right now she knows Egon is avoiding her; stalling in the lab until she leaves. This has become his routine. The one he started to practice after he was forced through her memories.

That was weeks ago now. 

Whatever he witnessed inside her changed him; altered his perceptions enough to make staying away from her his only course of action. She wants to know what he's seen; to understand what makes him shy away from her now. But he won't talk to her, let alone look at her, and unless their conversation involves the Ghostbusters, it's like she doesn't even exist; his rejection hurts her more than she ever thought possible. 

So to help ease this emotional turmoil, she foolishly tries to convince herself that the separation he's enacted, is his own way of evoking a professionalism for their working relationship; the prevention of a potentially bigger catastrophe with their eventual confrontation. But this ill-advised fantasy doesn't make her heart hurt any less, because it all comes down to one thing; she loves him. 

And she doesn't know how to stop.

It makes her angry; all these feelings she can't control. But what makes her even more furious in that he's somehow is aware of it; flaunting it in front of her in his own oblivious way. Unknowingly using her emotions to his advantage. He's always been able to read her, interpret her actions with little study; the scientist in him pushing her over the edge. 

Because ultimately he was right, she was using Roger to make him jealous. And the fact that he called her out on it completely pissed her off. 

She'd be damned if she'd admit to it. Her stubbornness completely outweighing her rationality. Staying with him instead to try and prove a moot point to the unwilling. Of course it wasn't fair use someone but when it came to Egon she couldn't be logical. So she let her relationship with Roger develop; let him in when another was pushing her away. And truthfully after being ignored for so long, it was nice to be wanted. 

Still, it doesn't help. Because no matter what Roger and her do together, her thoughts are always with him. And she's tried to stop them, she really has, but they're relentless. Because when he talks, she longs for discussions that challenge her; ones about nuclear reactors, fungi, and equations she doesn't fully understand. When they're intimate she wants another; wants his hands touching her. He's the only face she sees when she closes her eyes. 

A sound from the adjacent office startles her; harsh and unexpected. It's no doubt Venkman getting out of his chair. He does it fast enough that he sends it slamming into the adjoining wall nearly every time. Usually, she reprimands him for it, yelling at him in response, but this time she's so wrapped up in her thoughts about the scientist above her, that the collision causes her to jump violently. Standing up, she fumbles before regaining her control. 

Looking back at the clock he eyes focus long enough for the numbers to register; it's time for her to go. 

A little calmer now, she begins to shut down her computer when she senses him in the doorway. 

"Headed out already Red?"

"Of course it's Friday."

"Ooohhhh date night" His tone and his eyes tease her. 

"Yes Dr. Venkman, date night." He doesn't miss her exhausted sigh. 

"You don't sound too thrilled?"

Putting the vinyl cover over the desktop she only offers him a shrug. "We're finally gonna 'talk'. Roger really hasn't gotten over his trip." Finished, she taps the side of her temple, punctuating her meaning. His eyes soften in response. 

"Bummer. Cut him a little slack. Not everyone is as used to this shit as we are."

"You're right but I don't think it has anything to do with the paranormal."

He wants to say more but he knows she's probably right. He's aware of the things Roger might have seen when he was forced to obey the Viking ghost holding her hostage. Admitting it would only cross a line; one he's not entirely prepared for. Because it's the one where he acknowledges her feelings for his best friend. She cares about all of them but it's different when it comes to Egon. But what's even more frustrating to him is that he knows the scientist upstairs feels the same. But instead of admitting it he pushes her away. He'll never understand why she puts herself through such heartbreak for that idiot; his friend is a grade-A asshole.

"I know Ray and Winston are coming back from a bust, do you need anything else before the weekend?"

"Nah, nothing for me sis."

"Alright I'll just check on Dr. Spengler then I'll be on my way."

"Janine, I don't know why you bother with that one." He's aware she's missed the double meaning behind his words. 

"He's human too Peter."

"The verdicts still out on that one." His pitiful joke causes her to laugh; it's a sound he's always liked. Sticking out her tongue, she clicks on their answering machine before heading for the staircase. 

Shaking his head he watches her go, wishing things could be different for both of his friends. Everyone deserved to be happy and Janine was no exception. Egon too, but she was more deserving considering all of the shit they put her through. But it wasn't for him to decide. Keeping quiet he retreats back to his office, reaching for a nearby magazine. Putting his feet up once again, he settles in for what he hopes is an uneventful evening. 

X

It's Friday and Egon hates Fridays. 

Admittedly he's never had an affinity or an aversion to any particular day of the week but that was before; before Janine decided to leave him. 

Ever since Janine started seeing Roger romantically, it's been their day. The one where she leaves work early so they can spend time together. He assumes they go out on a date but those are only suspicions. He's too afraid to ask, or rather doesn't want to know the answer. 

Yes, Monday through Thursday is better for him. Because those days fit into his own system of organization. One with a planned routine that doesn't allow for independent variables to counteract his control. But despite his internal protests, that's exactly what's happening; his feelings are out of control. 

This emotional interference is completely unexpected because he's not supposed to emote. He's spent his entire lifetime suppressing distractions; especially those of the human persuasion. It's learned behavior that better allowed for his advancement in systematic pursuits. Science did not allow one to feel; he was not supposed to feel. 

Except he was. 

It's unpredictable and foreign, and he tries his best not to let his emotions reflect outward but he can't seem to stop them. His usual stoicism failing him when he tries to suppress. So it's become easier to avoid her; and he does. 

But for the first time in his life, he's finding that he doesn't want to be alone. He wants to be with her. He wants to know what she's feeling, hear her opinions, her thoughts, and her laugh. And still he wants more. He's greedy because he wants the chance to make love to her too. Her voice, her mind, and her body invade everywhere he tries to retreat; it's too much for any man to take. And he tries his best to work through it; the days and the feelings that cause his skin to flush. To keep his distance and continue promising himself that it will lessen with time; except it doesn't. And even though he stays away; his thoughts refuse to leave her.

Because being in her mind changed him. 

It allowed him to relive the moments that he was a part of; view their interactions and examine his own with exceptional clarity. Watching himself, with a different perspective this time, it was unmistakable; the way he looked at her. It's the way he looks at her now. He loves her. He does and it scares him shitless. 

But being the logical man he is, he tries to think it through. Spending his days contemplating how he can change the circumstances. The scientist in him coming up with countless scenarios. Weighing out each variable and overcompensating when it comes to the outliers. His distress is inevitable however because no matter what method he rationalizes, the outcome is always the same. 

She's with someone. 

It took him too long to realize what he wanted, what he felt, and what he had. And it was stupid of him to think she'd wait around for him when he didn't give her any indication that he cared. He'd already lost her. 

Alone, he tries his best to focus on his work. Except the research and repairs, don't get finished. Because with his thoughts racing, his hands and his mind refused to coordinate long enough to permit even minimal progress. Right now, his unfocused tinkering is doing more harm than it is good, and their equipment is too unstable to do anything half-assed anyway. 

So he stops. 

And he's done just that when the sound of her heels on concrete bring him back to reality. He knows what time it is. And even though he's done this dance with her before, the frequency doesn't make it any easier. 

The door creaks when she opens it; echoing his current displeasure.

"Dr. Spengler?"

Even though it's formal, the sound of his name coming out of her mouth causes his insides to twist. He can't look up. He owes her that much but he just can't. He tries desperately to work against the lump in his throat to offer her anything in return. 

"Hmm?" Trying to act busy, he reaches out to grab something in front of him. Clenching hard onto the offending object, he can feel the way the metal digs into his palm. The pain registers but it doesn't offer him any reprieve against the tenderness in her voice. 

"Do you need anything, I'm about to head out?"

"No."

"Are you sure I could..."

"I'm sure."

"I...well..."

"Yes Ms. Melnitz?" The way he says her name urges her to finish. It's formal, cold, and completely unforgiving. 

"Nevermind. Just, have a good weekend." Taking a breath her voice is even softer if possible. "Egon, please...just don't work too hard."

The way in which she offers him her last plea urges him to give her the same care in response. She is so selfless when he can't be. Because the truth is, is that he doesn't want her to have a good weekend. He wants her here with him because he can't stand to think of the alternative. 

But when he looks up she's already gone. 

Focusing hard, he audibly tracks her retreat. Listening to the way her shoes make contact with the floor as she descends the stairs. His eyes are unfocused as he stares at the jumble of wires overflowing from the machine in front of him. When he hears the door nearest the spot where Ecto resides slam shut, he loses all control. 

Unable to handle his current feelings he sweeps his hand across the worktable in complete frustration, sending both the machine and the tools surrounding it to clattering to the floor. The sound of the crash is harsh and loud against his ears and there's no doubt the sound has echoed elsewhere in the firehouse. But he doesn't care. 

Because she left him. 

-

And he is still lost in his thoughts when Peter rushes in. Completely unaware of the footsteps coming to a halt beside him. It's the vocality the rouses him. 

"Spengs what the hell man?!"

"I'm fine."

"Well shit I can see that but I kinda feel like Ray's new proton shotgun is not."

"It was an accident" He speaks the lie into existence. Trying to cover it further he makes a move to kneel on the floor beside him. His hands making slow work of retrieving the scattered metal. 

"Yeah ok, an "accident"." He watches as his friend uses air quotes around his words. 

"What are you getting at Peter?"

"You sure this little mishap has nothing to do with a certain redhead?"

He bites down hard, teeth grinding into one another, his voice is even when he speaks. "No, I assure you it does not."

"Hmm ok" Leaning his body against the workbench he continues. "So what you're telling me is that her leaving had NOTHING to do with" His hand gestures to the current state of distress below him. "This?"

"No."

"And it's definitely not because she's going out on a date right?"

"No" His fists clench automatically at his friend gets closer to his sore spot. He's very aware his anger is mirroring his body language. 

"Ok ok and it's most definitely not because..." 

"I do not wish to discuss it further Peter." Standing he places most of the shards he's collected back on the table. 

"Well, she did have a really tight skirt on today. Probably planning to get Roger hot so they can..."

"DAMMIT PETER I SAID NO!" He slams a fist so hard against the counter it causes the objects to jump. But his friend's cocky nonchalant attitude continues to egg him on further.

"Seems like I hit a bit of a sore spot, no?"

He doesn't turn. His anger and inadequacies and the thoughts of what her and Roger are doing together course through him; creating the most unhealthy combination. Shutting his eyes he works to calm his breathing. 

"Buddy this has got to stop. You really need to do something about this or..." 

He's had enough. He knows his face is wild and crazy when he turns to face his friend. "OR WHAT PETER?! Hmm? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!"

"I WANT YOU TO GROW THE FUCK UP AND LET THAT WOMAN KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER!"

Everything is too much for him right now. And furthermore, the fact that the others know what he's been struggling with is humiliating. The anger bubbles over and he's unable to contain it. So without thinking, he rushes the other man, grabbing a hold of his shirt collar with both fists. His friend wobbles at the contact but remains standing.  


Not saying anything as they stand toe to toe, his eyes bore into Peter's, reflecting the words he's too ashamed to say out loud. Peter however remains unphased by the uncharacteristic outburst. 

"Fine. Be angry. Take it out on me or our equipment but you know I'm right and you're just to chicken shit to admit it."

"You need to stop."

"Why because you'll hit me? Or is it so you can go hide somewhere else in this damn firehouse? Should we knock something else over?" 

He releases a breath through his nose. An inaudible warning to the man he's still holding to stop. 

"Go on and be miserable for all I care. But I swear if you don't get your head out of your own ass, you are gonna wake up one day and she's gonna be gone for good."

He's yelling as he pushes his friend further into the counter. "YOU KNOW I CANT!"

"WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU?"

"BECAUSE SHES WITH SOMEONE ELSE!"

Peter clearly having enough finally pushes him back. "THAT'S BULLSHIT! DO SOMETHING!" 

Both men are breathing hard now. Egon's voice dripping with venom. "I told you I can't!"

"Grow the fuck up Egon. So what she's with someone else. I am frankly so tired of this self-imposed bullshit. So you're scared. Who isn't? That's life and sometimes you just got do what scares you. I mean for fuck's sake you hunt ghosts for a living." 

"I am not scared."

"Then what is it? Because if you ruin one more piece of our equipment I'm not paying you anymore."

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing Egon. You can't go on like this. Jesus, you want her to go on like this?"

"I would never want her to..."

"Please, you don't know what you want."

"I do."

"Do you? Because you can't even admit it to yourself can you? If you can't do that how are you ever gonna admit it to her?"

"Don't Peter."

"Ya know what, maybe she is better off without you?" At the mention of a life without Janine, he can't take it anymore, and all he sees is red. He runs at Peter, unable to staunch the anger and frustration any further. It's misplaced but Peter's what's in front of him right now. And even though Egon's quick, Peter's faster; moving to the side immediately as the younger man tries to rush him. Over-calculating he misses his friend completely ending up in the hallway just past the lab room door. When he realizes what's happened, Peter's already clicked the lock. 

Realizing he's been played, he pounds on the door, meeting Peter's face through the small clear window. "Peter dammit let me back in my lab!"

"Go for a walk Egon. Clear your head. I really don't give a damn. But one way or another this shit has got to stop."

"Open the door Venkman!"

"GO EGON! And for God-sakes don't come back until you do. I mean we work with nuclear equipment around here!" 

X

Sitting here with him has been nothing but uncomfortable. The word perfectly describes their relationship as of late and the conversation they are currently having is no different. Truthfully she's always been uneasy but she thought she had made it to a place where she could at least exist. Their current togetherness isn't granting her such comfort. 

He looks right at her when he speaks. Like he can see right through her. "So what your saying is that you don't feel that way anymore?" 

Her throat is dry. Extremely so and she realizes this is the moment she could come clean. Tell Roger how he deserves to be with someone better than her. Especially someone who isn't in love with their boss. But she's not quite ready to give in to her guilt; choosing instead to suffer longer. Shoving her thoughts aside she swallows to make the words come out. 

"Yes."

The smile he gives her in return is beaming. Like she is the answer to his everything. "I'm so glad to hear that Twinkle. Truth be told I was worried."

"Roger don't be silly. You got to see some memories not all of them."

"I guess you're right but at the time it was a lot to take in. Knowing that's how you felt about him. I mean I don't really like the idea of you working there still but I understand circumstances change."

"Exactly, it's just a job." Leaning in she places a chaste kiss to the side of his cheek. 

He just smiles at her again. "Well good. Now come over here and get comfortable. We'll find something to watch" He wiggles his eyes playfully as she begins to move into his hold "I mean unless your up for a little something else?" 

She's well aware of his meaning but the thought of doing that, right now, when she's already feeling so shitty almost has her nauseous "I think I'd rather not tonight if that's ok?" Nestling further into his side his arm comes to wrap around her. 

"Oh ok." She doesn't have to see his face to know he's disappointed. 

"I'm sorry."

"No don't be it's just...is there anything else bothering you? I know we talked and all but besides that, you have seemed a little off lately."

"I'm fine, really. Here." Handing him the remote she offers him a placating smile. Whether he believes her or not is another story because of course, something is bothering her. Trying to push the infuriating scientist out of her mind she loses herself to the television.

X

He's still angry as he walks the darkening streets of New York; brooding like a child as he does. Because he wants to pretend his current predicament is all Peter's fault; except he knows it isn't. There's no one to blame but himself and thinking about what just transpired, the misplaced anger, and the way he got physical with his best friend, it bothers him even further; so he continues to walk. 

He doesn't know how long he's been moving, aimlessly lost in thoughts, but the streets have become increasingly less familiar as he continues. And while he's unsure of his exact location, he endures, because frankly he doesn't have anywhere else to go. Still dressed in his jumpsuit, his impromptu exit left him without any keys. And while he knows he could go back to the firehouse he's not entirely ready to return like a dog with his tail between his legs. He doesn't know what he would offer as an apology anyway because right now, nothing seems adequate. 

Hands in his pockets, a breeze hits him as he continues to move, working its way beneath his suit collar. The cold causing him to shiver. Looking up, he notices that the sky has gotten darker, angrier; swirling black as it's accompanied by the veil of nightfall. And just as he thinks he should turn around, it opens itself into a quiet downpour. 

Looking around for some type of refuge he notices the light of a nearby neon sign.

Entering the dimly lit space he's aware he's entered into a bar. And even though there aren't many patrons, he's still out of his element. Social interactions and alcohol, are not his forte. But it's storming out and that doesn't leave him with much choice. Crossing the short distance to the counter he sits down on the worn vinyl in front of him. 

The bartender speaks to him first. 

"What can I get you?" He poses the simple question while laying down a cocktail napkin on the lacquered wood. 

"I don't drink."

"Yeah and that's exactly why you came into a bar."

"I'm serious." He watches as the bartender gives him a once over. The man seemingly deciding to play along. 

"Are you really one of the Ghostbusters or are you just playing dress up?"

"I am."

"Ok then. What brings you in?"

"The rain and I had an altercation with a colleague."

"Ah" He watches as the man in front of him works; mixing together a variety of different liquids into a single glass. "Well here try this then. First one's on the house." The ice clinks as it's set down in front of him. 

He debates only a second before making the decision to indulge. Taking his first sip he's unaware the bartender has more to ask. "Was it about a woman?"

He chokes slightly. Coughing in response. He isn't sure if it's due to the strength of the drink or due to the unexpectedness of the question but he doesn't offer an answer. He continues to drink. "I mean it's always about a woman isn't it?"

Finishing off the short glass completely he winces but this time offers the man a reply. "You're very perceptive."

"Want another?"

"Yes and keep them coming."

X

They are both on the edge of sleep, their thoughts drifting in and out consciousness when the ringing starts. She can hear the noise and feel Roger's heavy breathing against her side. Opening her eyes fully she sees it's well past midnight. The phone continues to ring. 

His voice cuts through the noise. "Don't get it, we just settled in." 

"Roger I have to get it." Lightly pushing out of his embrace she starts to stand. But before she's completely vertical, his hand reaches out to grab at her wrist. "Babe come on." 

"It's late. What if it's my family or work?"

"Then the machine will get it."

"It could be an emergency." Shrugging out of his loose hold she crosses the living room to lift the phone from the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Excuse me I'm sorry to call so late but is this...ah...a Ms. Janine Melnitz?"

"Yes, speaking" She can feel Roger watching her as he stands himself. Stretching to release the kinks from his lower back. 

"My name is Brian Fairbrother, I bar-tend at 'Ed's Pool Hall' over on 31st. I'm calling on behalf of your boyfriend." Her eyes immediately find Roger's. 

"Oh...I um...I don't have a boyfriend...." Still watching she doesn't miss the way Roger's face contorts in her direction. Turning around she fumbles through her blunder. "I mean I do...but he's...well he's not at a bar right now."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. There's just someone here that couldn't stop talking about you and with the way you were entered into their phone as an emergency contact, I just assumed. My sincere apologies."

"It's no problem. May I ask who it is?" Her curiosity has gotten the better of her. But Roger's annoyance distracts her momentarily.

"Hang up it's probably a crank call." Waving him off she continues to listen. Desperate to get an answer. 

"I'm sorry I really didn't catch his name but...I do know he's one of the Ghostbusters. He's pretty trashed right now and we're closing up soon. I just didn't want to just kick him out and leave him to the streets."

"I see."

"I'm really sorry to have bothered you. I'll just call him a cab."

"No, it's alright. I'll be there."

"You sure?"

"Of course. I really appreciate you calling. Thank you." Returning the phone to its holder she wishes she could sink through the floor right now. Instead, she has to face Roger. He speaks before she gets the chance to turn around. 

"You're leaving aren't you?" His voice is calm but she can easily detect the annoyance behind it. 

"Yes, I am."

"Where are you going? It's late I can take you there."

"You don't have to. I'll be quick." He's watching her as she starts putting on her coat. 

"I asked you where you were going."

"To a bar on 31st. I have to pick up a friend."

"A friend. It's one of the Ghostbuster's isn't it?" 

"Yes, it is."

"Of course it is. Dr. Spengler?" 

"No Roger it's not Egon."

"Oh, Egon is it? Of course, it's fucking him." She doesn't think she's ever heard him swear before. 

"Roger stop." Walking closer she places a single hand on his chest. "You're getting upset over nothing. It's not Dr. Spengler. He doesn't even drink..." 

"God, how stupid do you think I am Janine? Jesus, here I thought..."

"What?"

"That we talked it out and things were gonna be ok with us." He pushes her hand away. "You sure played me." 

"No, it wasn't..." His next question silences her completely. 

"It's always going to be him isn't it?" She can only stutter out her words as the panic intercedes. 

"Roger...I swear...it's not. It's not like that."

"Come on Janine. You don't have to do this anymore. You can stop with the act." She can feel the tears falling as watches him put on his own jacket. 

"Roger stop! We can..."

"No, we don't have to do anything. I know what I saw. And to be frank, your words don't hold much value anymore. Your actions are speaking clear enough."

Her tears continue to fall as he makes his way to the door. "Roger come on. This is ridiculous."

"It's not. Go pick him up. The two of you deserve each other." Standing in the open doorway now, hesitating between then interior of her apartment and the exterior, he doesn't turn around when he speaks again. "You've made your choice very clear. I just hope he's worth it." 

The door slams behind him. Her whole body shaking as it does. 

She's cognizant of the moisture still falling down her cheeks. Her erratic breathing hinting at a likely breakdown. She's aware that her relationship with Roger is over, but even though she finds herself alone, the relief she is currently experiencing is insurmountable. It's cliche, she knows it, but for the first time in a long time, she feels like she can finally breathe. Calming herself, she takes a few more liberating breaths, before wiping furiously under her eyes. Grabbing her keys, there's really only one thought on her mind; When she picks up Venkman's sorry ass he is going to get one hell of an ear full, and probably a thank you. 

X

When she arrives at the bar there's barely anyone inside, let alone a Ghostbuster. Her eyes search for Venkman but come up short through the smoky haze. Feeling the tiredness of the late hour creep up on her while she stands near the entrance, she heads to the bar to get this moving. 

"Excuse me are you Brian?"

"Janine?"

"That obvious?"

"No, but considering you're the only woman in this bar and you're looking for me. Either I've wronged you or you're here to pick him up. Nice to put a name with a face." Laughing he reaches out to shake her hand. 

"Um, where is he exactly?"

"In the back." 

Gripping her purse strap tighter around her shoulder she offers him a smile and a "Thanks" before heading in the gestured direction. 

Still looking for Peter as she moves towards the pool room, the few scattered patrons offer her a glance as she passes them; no doubt working on finishing their drinks before last call. Walking farther still, she eventually finds her Ghostbuster. And the sight of him punches her right in the gut. Because it is in fact not Venkman. 

It's Egon. 

She feels her breath falter at the realization, her heart racing in her chest; the combination of sensations stopping her where she stands. Taking just a moment, she rests her frazzled body against a nearby pillar, searching for some kind of self-comfort. Because seeing him now makes her feel vulnerable; her feelings from her recent fight coming back to the surface, and not to mention the fact that Egon and her haven't spoken more than two words to one another recently isn't making this easier. Fighting against her nerves, she feels like crying all over again. 

So she watches him undetected. 

Right now, unaware that she's staring, he's engrossed in a game of pool with some equally drunk stranger. Succeeding through his inebriation to explain the physics of the game to an unwilling participant. If he had a whiteboard it would be no different from how he is with them at the office. Even drunk she's impressed that he still manages to be so intelligent. 

For a moment she contemplates leaving him, having Brian call him a cab, and forgetting she was ever here. She doesn't get a chance to make the choice however because as soon as the thought enters her mind, shes spotted. 

When he realizes it's her, standing in front of him in the bar, he's a completely different person. Because in all the years she's known him she's never seen him smile at anything like he is now. It's big, and beautiful, and directed solely at her. She desperately wills her emotions to remain in check. 

"JANINE!" There's nothing but surprise as he yells her name; instinctively dropping his pool cue. He makes quick work in closing the short distance between them. And reaching her he doesn't hesitate. His hands circling around her as moves. 

"OH MY GOD JANINE!" Lifting her off the ground completely he twirls her around in his embrace. For a moment she lets herself get caught up in his enthusiasm. It's all so uncharacteristic that she can't help but laugh a little. "Egon...Egon put me down!"

Heading her request he stops partaking in the mirth. Slowly letting the petite woman regain her footing. When he does the front of her slides down the length of him. When she's firmly on the ground he still doesn't release his grip around her waist. They're close now. Extremely so. His breath brushing against her already heated skin. Meeting his eyes with her own there's something reflected in his gaze that she can't quite place but she can feel her face flushing deeper in response to it. And yet still he doesn't let go. She feels like she's on fire, her pulse beating rapidly underneath her skin. She's sure he can feel it too with the way their bodies are pressed up against one another. She feels her heart hurt for an entirely different reason; it helps to uncloud her judgment. 

"Eg...Egon"

"Hmm." It's all he offers as his hands tighten on her waist. 

"Come on." He's making this extremely hard. "We need to get you home." He still isn't listening. Too drunk or too caught up she doesn't know but they need to leave now before she does anything she'll come to regret. Gathering her courage she pushes him slightly away from her. Her touch is light as her hands push on his upper chest. Seeming to understand, he separates from her fully; missing the contact immediately as he does. Grabbing onto his upper arm she starts leading him back through the bar. When they're nearly at the exit he derails their journey momentarily by pulling her back up to the bar. 

"Brain! This...this is Janine!"

"I can see that Buddy. You going home now?"

"Yes. Well, I think so. Janine, are we leaving?"

"Yes, we are." 

"Ok man. Come back another time."

"I will most certainly."

"Bye Janine." He offers her a knowing smirk. 

"Bye Brian. Come on Egon" 

X

He's stumbling quite a bit as they exit into the night. The earlier rain has stopped but has still managed to dampen everything around them. He stumbles a bit stepping off the curb. Instinctively her hands reach out to grab him but before they make actual contact he manages to right himself. Unlocking the doors, she sits in the driver's side, only watching as he follows her lead. It takes him a minute to figure it all out.  


She always knew he was tall but until this moment didn't realize just how much. Maneuvering his body, his knees are practically eye level as he squeezes himself fully into her Volkswagen Beetle. 

"I'm sorry it's such a tight fit."

"It's alright."

But they're not done yet. Watching him now, he's trying to buckle his seat belt. Unable to complete the task she isn't sure if it's from the tight quarters or his current inebriation but he's failing miserably at the action.

"Here let me" Shifting her small form, she moves her torso across his chest to grab at the belt. Their bodies touching once again as she does. Bringing it back over, and getting him successfully buckled, their eyes meet in the closeness. Reaching out a hand, he brushes some of her hair behind her ear. She doesn't dare breathe. Struggles not to lean in when she swears to herself that he is. She could kiss him right now and pray to whoever is listening that he reciprocates. The alternative is sobering and it brings it back to her senses. 

"Let's... let's get you home then" Moving back to her own seat, she buckles herself in, before starting the ignition. 

His apartment isn't all that far from where they are now but being in New York they still run into a bit of traffic on the streets. So she observes him while she drives. And before when he was the epitome of energy he's quiet now. Utterly so and with the way his head is resting against the glass of the passenger side window she knows he's asleep. 

And despite that fact, her nerves are still a complete mess. 

It was easy when she thought she was picking up Peter. But Egon? Jesus, she hadn't even been in the same room alone with him for the last few weeks and now here they were. Fate was extremely cruel when it wanted to be. It was being that way to her now. And maybe it was their closeness shared in the bar that shook her so. Because if she's honest she did know the look in Egon's eyes. It was the one she reflects onto him. But he's drunk and she knows it. And it's just another stupid delusion she allows herself get caught up in. 

Finally pulling up on the street outside of his apartment she feels herself relax if only for a moment. 

"Egon" He doesn't stir. Using her hand she gently shakes him, trying not to startle. "Egon come on your home."

"Hmm?"

"We're home Egon...well you...you're home" She knows her ears are deep crimson and is thankful for the darkness of the night and inside of her car. 

"Oh" Moving his glasses aside he uses a free hand to wipe the tiredness out of his eyes. But looking back at her it seems like he's not registering anything she's saying at all. 

"We're at your place. Are you ok to go up?"

"Yes" Opening the door, he tries to prove that he is. Moving to get up and out of her car. He doesn't make it because his seat belt still holds him firmly to the interior. He flounders like a fish out of water. 

"Egon I don't think you're alright. Give me your keys" Haphazardly he pats around the outside of his jumpsuit looking for the requested item. Unfortunately she's unrewarded. 

"Are you serious?" He doesn't respond, his eyes looking towards the floor instead. Frustrated she closes her own; trying to refrain from saying anything more. Opening them again, and looking at him now, he just looks so helpless sitting there she cant help but be sympathetic. "Never-mind. Just close the door." He does. Putting the car back into drive she heads back out onto the darkened streets. 

There's some silence between them but this time he isn't sleeping. It's like he's contemplating every mystery of the world right here in her car. Turns out it was much simpler than that. 

"Firehouse?"

"No way. I want to get at least a little sleep tonight" She'll be damned if she's driving him to the firehouse at this hour when it's completely across town.

X

However it happens, she manages to drive back to her apartment and get him out of the car and up the stairs. He was impossibly unsteady on his feet. Her small frame trying to support him but really doing nothing to aid in his his balance. In addition to that, he's gotten his second wind, the impromptu power nap evidently bestowing him with a renewed sense of energy. Because the minute they pulled away from his apartment he hasn't stopped talking. Questions, formulas, and anything that pops into his mind is being said with abandon. Frankly, if she wasn't so tired she would find it all amusing. 

"No, I'm not sure how about that particular law. But I'm sure we can look it up later."

"You think Ray would know?"

"That he might."

"Well, could we call him I really want to..."

"Egon. It's time for bed ok?"

"Ok" She can feel him watching her as she moves. Gathering spare linens to make up the couch in her living room. "Janine where's your bathroom?"

Its the first sober thought to come out of his mouth and she turns to meet his face. "To the left why..." But she knows exactly why when she meets his gaze. His expression is one of sickness, she can see him sweating, and for lack of better phrasing, he's paler than a ghost. She knows what's coming next. 

Running she hears him retch before she can even make another move. Meeting him in her bathroom, him kneeling on the tile, he continues to release his night's recklessness into her toilet. Feeling sympathetic, and a little at a loss for how to comfort she grabs a nearby washcloth. Wetting it and placing it on the back of his neck. His eyes meet hers in appreciation. After a few moments, he has nothing left to release. 

Finally spent, he leans his tall frame against the tub, while the flush of the toilet echos in the small space around them. She tries to make light of the current situation because he's clearly embarrassed by his actions.  


"You're like a kid who just found his parents liquor cabinet. We really need to take you out more" But he isn't having it so she tries to help ease his discomfort instead. 

"Here you're sweating" She reaches for the zipper of his jumpsuit, not thinking clearly when she does. He shivers a little at the contact. "What do you have on under the suit?" 

"Clothes I think" She hopes so. He doesn't protest as she unzips the top half of his jumpsuit; getting him to take out his arms. Thankful that he put on a white v neck T-shirt underneath. She ties the arms around his waist the best she can not daring to strip him further. Getting up she wets the washcloth again before pressing it to the sides of his face.

"God I'm so sorry."

"Hey, it's ok."

"No, it's not. It's really not."

"Well maybe you can owe me one next time." She offers him a smile before continuing. "Let's get you into bed. Hmm?"

"Ok."

Standing up, he's still a bit wobbly on his feet but grabbing on to her shoulder he's able to steady himself considerably. Leading him back to the bedroom, he stands awkwardly in the threshold of the door. Watching as she pulls the covers down and arranges the pillows. He toes off his shoes before getting in, nestling down deep into the linen. His head on the pillow she covers him up before sitting down next to him on the mattress. Taking of his glasses and placing them on nightstand, her hand brushes some of the damp hair out of his face. 

"You're really beautiful you know that."

"Sure and that coming from a man that's not wearing his glasses is very convincing" There's nothing but humor voice. 

"I can see just fine" Breath hitching, the clarity in his next words is her undoing. "I know you don't think it but God you're breathtaking." 

She just stares at him. Unable to move as a tentative hand reaches out to trace the underside of her jaw. Moving farther it finds purchase on the base of her neck. Pulling her down to him. She finds herself leaning in too. 

His next words stop her though. They leave in a whisper that dances across her face "I'm not good for you Janine" And she knows his words don't hold any value, because he's drunk, and in her bed, and whatever is happening right now is not right or even real. He's drunk. And that fact is screaming at her.  


Taking her own hand to grab onto his, she stops both of their movements, laying his arm back across his own chest. Getting up from the bed to turn off the lights, she looks back at him one last time. 

"But I want to be." 

"You probably regret you said anything to me in the morning." She only offers him a small smile. 

"Probably." Flipping the switch, she closes the door behind her. 

Finally laying down in her own makeshift bed, out on the couch in her living room, she turns out the lights. Left alone in the darkness she cries herself to sleep. 

X

It's dark wherever he is he knows that much. Because despite his eyes still being closed he doesn't detect any brightness behind his lids. And somehow odder still he knows its early morning. Aware that a significant amount of time has passed since he was last in awareness of his being. He knows this because the rest of his body is silently screaming. 

Without even moving he knows he's in trouble. Each muscle aches just lying in the stillness. The exhaustion is evident with the way his body manages the simple act of taking in oxygen. His head is much the same. The pounding resounding there, beating a destructive tattoo against his temples.

But despite the physicality of it all, he finds himself in extremely comfortable surroundings. Wherever he lays, is plush and pillowy and the fabric cocoons his exhausted form with a tenderness he doesn't really get to experience. Content, lavishing in the relief, he lays there a bit longer before the contentment dissolves. Turning slightly in his half cognizant state he breathes deep, smelling something familiar and beautiful. It causes a smirk to form at the corners of his mouth before the identifying scent registers in his psyche. Her perfume. 

His eyes open instantly as the recognition comes with agonizing clarity. The memories of the night previous clamoring over one another as the realization dawns. Still horizontal he takes in his surroundings as best he can before locating his glasses beside him, doing so it pushes the world around him into crisp focus. He takes in the bedroom and it's every bit her. Errant plants, items with sentimental value, unique decor, and mixed colors that create the perfect contrast. But what irks him most is he doesn't see here anywhere. 

Making the decision to go find her he sits up fully, audibly groaning as his feet plant firmly on the floor. His body does much of the same albeit silently. His half verticality is brief because without even standing he is very aware he is going to be sick again. Bouncing off the mattress, he runs the short distance to what he vaguely remembers as the bathroom, making it just in time. 

He only gets sick once but it's enough to cause him the same symptoms of distress. Taking it slow he stands, willing his stomach to stay calm long enough to be productive. Splashing some water on his tired face he looks in the mirror for the first time; noting his appearance. His face looks worn and the bags under his eyes are clearly prominent. The only other thing he notes is that he's wearing his white T-shirt and the jumpsuit. 

Met with his reflection he's face to face with his actions. He knows he behaved poorly. With Janine, with Peter, and himself. So many people deserve an apology for how he behaved last night. Some deserving one for even longer. And the one who does is now likely on the other side of her own bedroom door. He doesn't know how to face her and how to begin saying the things he knows he can't. Taking one last look he decides there's no time like the present. 

Opening the bedroom door quietly he makes his way into the living room. The almost loft-style apartment giving him easy access to the open space. He squints to adjust to the brightness, the stark contrast between the bed and the living severe. When his eyes adjust he stops dead. Because the sight before him is more than any man should be able to take. She's there in front of him, completely oblivious that he's entered her space as a living man. 

Her back to him, the first thing he notices are her legs. They're bare and impossibly sexy. Seeming to go on forever they are only stopped by the hemline of her silk sleep shorts. Eyes traveling higher, he easily sees the outline of her upper body through the translucent kimono draped over her shoulders. Swallowing hard when he makes out the curve of her breasts. And as she stands there before him, humming a tune to a song only she knows he has to work hard to keep himself in check. 

Because the want and the need to go up to her, wrap his arms around her from behind, and nestle his face into the crook of her neck is completely overpowering. Being here in her space, she's uninhibited, and watching her is intoxicating. He wishes he could feel much the same. Without warning, she turns around abruptly, finished with whatever she was trying to accomplish on the kitchen counter. Completely startled by his presence behind her, she quickly recovers as to not spill the steaming mug in her hand.

"Jesus Egon" Her other hand comes up to her chest in reflex. Breathing hard as she stares straight at him. It takes him a minute or two to respond as he stares back. Because he's closer now, looking at her for the first time. And seeing her now, free of any of her usual makeup, he's very aware he's very aware that he's never seen anything more beautiful than her in this moment. 

"I'm...sorry. I didn't mean to startle you" He feels completely unsure of himself. 

"No, it's ok. Guess I'm just used to it being only me"

"Still I didn't mean..."

"Really no worries" The smile she offers him is completely genuine and it somehow calms his already frazzled nerves. "How'd you sleep?"

"Like the dead."

She lets out a laugh at his admission. "I'm sure you're not feeling too hot either. Here drink this" She hands him the steaming mug. Taking it tentatively he cant help but notice the odd smell coming from the steam. "It doesn't look edible but I swear it helps."

Bringing the cup to his lips he coughs a little as it makes his way down his throat. The vicious liquid does in fact taste terrible and he isn't sure he won't get sick again. But she instructs him to take another drink. So he does. And the more he takes these little sips he has to admit it is helping his hangover quite a bit. 

"It really is awful."

"I know but it's an old family thing. Sister taught it to me when I turned 21." Watching her as she moves he notices she is taking a blanket and pillow off of her sofa motioning for him to sit. Not moving he takes another sip from his mug before questioning. 

"Janine, did you sleep out here?"

"Considering my bed was otherwise occupied. Yeah" There's no malice in her voice just honesty. 

"Why would you do that? You shouldn't have given up your bed for me. I would have fared just fine out here" She finishes folding the blanket but he still doesn't sit. 

"Egon you were drunk and you wouldn't have fit. Besides it was closer to the bathroom."

He feels his face flush in embarrassment "Well that may be but..."

"It's fine"

"It's not."

"It honestly wasn't a big deal. It was only one night. I was perfectly content" She sounds a little frustrated. 

"You know I don't drink."

"I am aware of that."

"But it's not a valid excuse for how I behaved. Especially with you. Everything about my actions yesterday were wildly inappropriate."

She just waves it off in nonchalance "Hey we've all been there at one time or another."

"It was still too much to ask of you. I'm sure I interrupted your evening with Professor Baugh." 

"Well..." 

"I ruined your date didn't I?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it that ."

"Oh. I thought that..on Fridays..."

"We do...it's just. We met to talk about what happened. I'm sure your very aware of what I'm referring to." He is. Gulping he takes another sip of the warm liquid. Rubbing the back of his neck in awkwardness. He questions her further. 

"How'd it go?" She only shrugs her shoulders in response. Her eyes not meeting his. 

"Just give it time. I'm sure everything will be fine by your next one."

"I doubt it."

"What do you mean?"

Looking back up at him, his eyes meet hers again. "There's not going to be another date."

"I don't follow. I thought...what happened?" 

"Honestly?" Releasing a sigh she runs a hand through her hair before looking back up. "When I got the call yesterday to come and get you, I told him I was leaving. And that choice was evidently enough of a decision for Roger. He broke it off with me."

He's honestly a bit shocked by her admission. 

"Janine" This time he does sit down on the couch next to her. "I'm sorry. Maybe I can talk to him for you. Apologize for what transpired. It wasn't your fault. You were just being a good friend..."

But he doesn't get the chance to finish. Her audible groan of frustration silencing his next words completely. She's instantly up and starting to pace before him. 

"That's just it isn't it?" She releases an almost sick laugh. "Friends" Stopping her movements she whips around, looking straight at him "And that's all we're ever gonna be." Shaking her head, he watches as her arms come up to comfort herself. "God I really can't take this anymore." 

He's at a lost for what to do and say. "I..."

"No, I'm so tired Egon. I'm tired of looking at you, being around you, working with you, and pretending we're just friends and coworkers. I want more. I'm always gonna want more with you. I always have."

"Janine..."

"Please don't Egon. Just forget I ever said anything. Really, I'm tired."  


"Janine?" She runs another hand through her hair.  


"Why don't you just go. I'll see you on Monday."  


He stands himself now, wanting to comfort her, but she isn't having it. Reaching out to touch her she backs away from the contact. "Are you sure you want me to..."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Really it's fine. You can go. No hard feelings."

Heading towards the door, heading her request, he's aware she's not watching him. But when his hand is on the doorknob he decides he's had enough too. Fuck it. 

"Before I do there's one more thing that I have to say." Turning around she lifts her head to watch him where he stands. 

"I'm sorry." 

He doesn't miss the way she rolls her eyes. "Please, you already apologized." 

"I know but not for that. For feeling the same way." 

"What?"

"I said I feel the same way."

"About?" The confusion is evident on her face. 

"You." Walking the short distance back over to her she doesn't shy away this time. 

"I...I'm not sure I'm following."

"I'm tired too. I'm tired of being without you and not being man enough to do anything about it."

"Egon." Her voice is a pleading whisper. He can see the moisture behind her eyes. Failing to hide her emotions any longer as she realizes what he's trying to say . 

"I have feelings for you. Strong ones and they scare me more than I care to admit."

"Egon...if you're lying to me right now. Telling me what you think I wanna hear..." She's unable to stop them; the tears now falling down her face. 

"Janine I'm serious. You know I always am." He doesn't miss her intake of breath. "I'm not good with any of this. But you're the only one I'm willing to try for."

She's crying harder now her breath starting to come faster. It shudders as she releases a breathy. "Ok."

Emboldened, he uses his hands to wipe away her tears, looking into her eyes once more. "And I am sorry because I'm an absolute idiot for not telling you how I felt about you sooner. I'll never forgive myself for it. Truthfully the thought of you with someone else, happy with someone else, it was killing me." She only nods her head in agreement. 

"Janine...I think I'll die if I don't get to kiss you right now."

"Please." Gripping the side of her face his lips make contact with hers for the first time. And it's soft and sweet and what he hopes is the first of many. Putting everything he has into it, he hopes it conveys everything he has yet to say.  


Pulling apart, their foreheads rest against one another while his hands move to settle around her waist. Finding her voice she speaks through the contented quiet.  


"You don't know how long I've wanted you to do that" He doesn't have to look at her to know she's smiling at him "But what made you say it now?

"I couldn't leave you thinking I didn't feel the same. Not when you were brave enough to tell me how you felt."

"I stopped you?" She seems genuinely surprised, pulling back a little out of their embrace to look at him fully. 

"Yes. That and I also didn't have any shoes." 

Looking down, they both laugh at the sight of his socks. It's loud and joyous and it conveys so much more happiness than just a silly joke. Still laughing he kisses her on the mouth again; feeling her smile when their lips meet for the second time.

**Author's Note:**

> First work in the Ghostbuster's fandom. Took some liberty with the comics, movies, and layout of the firehouse. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
